big mouths and even bigger goals to get accomplished.

i just got back from the little christmas party thing that my ics threw. i was talking about something with another girl- i think she had asked me if my family had came to my place or called me, i said, "no. i bought my mom and sister presents for nothing.. it's not my job to keep up with my kids and wish them merry christmas, so i'm not gonna go outta my way to call her when it's not my responsibility to do that. she's the reason i have ptsd." then the girl said to me surprised, "OH?! YOU HAVE PTSD?! IS THAT WHY YOU STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT ALL THE TIME?!" i'm really not sure if that's the reason why i chose to separate myself from people and isolate myself from others generally. she's kinda a big mouth who says whatever is on her mind- i'm pretty sure that must be some of her disability but i'm not really sure i should've told her my business because she might tell everyone and their mom now. i'm not sure many people actually listen to her because i think she might piss people off because i remember when some guy in our living program was talking to her and he was basically talking through his teeth because she said something to him which irritated him and he was holding his temper. it feels like a long time ago at one of our events, she said something to him to make him start yelling at her, asking her why she asked so many questions all the time. the new manager lady was at the party for a while and to tell you the truth, that was basically one of the only reasons why i went- so she couldn't say i didn't participate in any of the activities. they brought up having ics every day.. i can't have ics every day. there's some days that i have to work. then they brought up having coffee every day- i don't drink coffee and i'm sure i'd get so annoyed with that loud mouthed girl who says everything that's on her mind, i'd probably blow up at her like.. hm.. i'm trying to think of his name- i'm pretty sure it started with a v and had an "ay" or "o" sound at the end of it. i should've asked him since he used to always forget my name too. i shouldn't have wasted my money on presents for my family. the only person who i'd actually be alright giving them to from my family (my brother) didn't answer his phone today when i called him. he's probably sleeping since he always works. at least the rush hour movies are on to keep me occupied today before the vikings play today and HOPEFULLY ruins the christmas wishes of the lions so they're knocked outta the playoffs. i'm pretty sure we're outta the play-offs but i'm reading this site trying to understand and it says "Minnesota needs a ton of help over the final four weeks of the season. The only scenario that would involve the Vikings surging to the postseason would require Minnesota going 4-0 in Weeks 15-18, plus having other teams drop multiple contests down the stretch." i'm pretty sure that's the remaining games.. i just hate to see players like justin jefferson warming the bench when he's got ALL the tools to help them win. it's kinda like these idiots making me warm the bench of minnesota before actually moving east. i'm not sure WHAT their intentions are for this shit other than neglect for their own convenience (selfishness). so i know the frustration justin jefferson feels warming the damn bench when he has more POTENTIAL and CAPABILITY than to just warm the damn bench and cheer his teammates on with a good attitude. i know for a fact, if i were him, i couldn't do it and i'd make a scene in front of cameras which would probably get me kicked off the team or at least suspended. so i give the guy credit for being a better teammate than i could ever be.